wordizzle from baby j: meooowww

this is why we can't be friends: which one of these is not like the other?

I'm anal...errrr ummm... detail oriented. But Andy takes it to a whole new RIDICULOUS level:

This is Andy laying out all of his socks...

Then meticulously inspecting and matching them up so the "right" exactly the same pair of white socks get paired together.

You wouldn't even believe me if I told you how much time is spent on this.

oh wait, there's more. The above matching method is for white socks only.

Wool socks get special treatment. They are "marked" so that he KNOWS FOR SURE which sock goes with which.

This pair each has a black line on it...

I was told that this pair didn't need to be marked because you can look at the heels and according to Andy, "you can tell that they are friends"...

These are wool sock liners, also privy to the "special treatment"...the one of the right has a faded red dot, the one on the left, 2 black lines...

Okay, so I knew about the anal laying out the socks matching thing...but I just found out about the wool sock coding system last night...although apparently it started when we lived in Estes Park.

Andy, this is why we can't be friends..

oh...wow...yea...i didn't even notice...i guess that is snow....











I'M AWESOME. THIS SNOW ROCKS.

CANDYCANE REINDEER!!

This is Fred. He is my friend that will be hanging out with me until Christmas!

unless I eat him...

wordizzle from baby j: seriously what is wrong with you....

This is what I'm thinking 100% of the time I spend with Aunt Sandy and Uncle Andrew...

roaring 20s...

Thanks for inviting us to your super cool party Kelsey!

Jordan wasn't sure what to think...just kept following me around...

we had a great time!

eesh. they're so cool!

And what says 20's party like a hillbilly playing a drum while talking to Charlie Chaplin?

how to trim your tree cont.

Here it is folks...the answer you've been waiting for. Trim your tree the way women dress...

How do you think this would go over on a box today?

Wordizzle from Baby J: cold feet

Word to the wint-ah, yo.

It is fa-rizzling.

Unsizzle Andrizzle went deer hunting this weekend...when he got back he had feet that were shiverizzling.

I saw him trying to warm up his feet and thought,

"what a great idizzle!"

fancy brights

Last night I found this box of vintage "Fancy Brights" (BEST NAME FOR CHRISTMAS LIGHTS EVER!!) in my basement.

(salvaged from the cleaning out of my grandparents' house)

I love these old lights with the plastic flower things on them! But the best thing about them is the plethora of instructions on the box....

especially the how to hang lights on a tree part...which said you should hang them

"like women dress."

I'll give you some time to mull that over...provide any guess as to what that means, before showing you the instructions.

i go to college: I wouldn't normally do this...

This just in...the adventures of random people that stop by my office continues:

me: [sitting at my desk working]

random student: [popping his whole self in my door] "Um, hi, I wouldn't normally do this but I'm in a hurry, so...

<< insert thoughts -- eek --- what is this going to be about? weird. oh maybe he just needs something... staples? tape? I lost my tape dispenser...I think I left it in my car after the ag alumni tailgate...hopefully it's just staples. >>

random student cont.: "can you tell me where the stairs are?"

<< insert thoughts -- really? the thing you "wouldn't normally do" is ask where the stairs are? hello lamest student ever.>>

me: "oh sure, they are right around the corner"

Thanks-winning

The Friday after Thanksgiving some of the boys were outside shooting guns...well pellet guns actually.

Then one of them [I'll let you guess which one] said,

"hey, we should have a biathlon"

and the other two said,

"ok"

[to be fair I wasn't actually there for that part, they were already in the "rules developement stage" when I arrived, but I'm guessing that is how it went.]

The rules were decided to be:

1. You have to run down the hill around the telephone pole and back twice.

2. Then you will shoot the pellet gun pistol 4 times at 4 targets. For each target you hit 20 seconds will be deducted off your time. You can shoot from any position, but must be at the designated spot.

3. After your 4 shots you run down around the telephone pole again.

4. I would choose a number between 1 and 20, the person who guessed the closest number got to choose their spot in the order.

5. I would keep the official time.

6. Ashleigh would encourage them to go faster.


Jake won the number. He chose to go last. Andy was next, he chose to go first, which left Steve to go 2nd.

It was quickly agreed upon that

"that telephone pole is a lot farther than it looks"

and

"maybe we should have only done 1 lap"

and

"you have to watch out for holes on the way down"

and

"that hill is way steeper than I thought"

The shooting also did not go so well -- they only hit 4 targets total.

finishing times:

1st place: Andy - time 2:48 -- hit 2 targets for a final time of 2:08

2nd place: Steve - time 2: 52 -- hit 1 target for a final time of 2:32

3rd place: Jake - time 2:53 -- hit 1 target for a final time of 2:33


Ashleigh kindly improvised a, what I can only assume was a previously unheard version of the state song of Minnesota for Andy as he topped the podium.

I'd like to wrap up this article with a quote from an eye witness, my dad, who happened to glance out of his shop window mid competition.

"I looked out the window and there was Andy with his shirt off and Jake was taking off barreling down the hill."

I think it really paints the picture for those who weren't able to witness it first hand:

keepin' it real...

My office has a "humility valve"....

What is that?

Well in case you are getting to full of yourself...to high and mighty...to power hungry....

it brings you right back down to earth when you have to climb up on a counter and turn this knob in order to turn on and/or adjust the heat...

pickles the cat update....

since my post a few days ago there have been 3 more emails regarding pickles:

1. from my least favorite friend, David, with a link to Pickles the Cat's facebook page

2. two from my least favorite uncle, Uncle Kelly

Here's 1:

Right to left: Fidel, Mr. Pickles, Raúl

Mr. Pickles is an evil communist cat, born Hubert Mex Pickles in 1954. He is owned by Fidel Castro, the second most evil person in the world, and is third in succession to become el Presidente of Cuba.

There is some controversy over the nature of Mr. Pickles. Some say he is not a cat, but rather a dog in a cat suit. Some say he is a bear in a cat suit, while others protest he is Condoleeza Rice in a bear suit in a dog suit in a cat suit.

here's 2:

Oh you guys, his Pickles the Fire Cat costume, in action, was even better than I imagined

This last one shouldn't count, in my opinion, because it is just a halloween costume of the pickles the cat story posted in the last post.


I posted this for those of you who find this amusing.

I do not.

this is why we can't be friends: BFF4EVER

Today I opened my wallet to find this:

A school picture of Andy -- cut out from, I assume, when he was teaching...

he had even written on the back:

So apparently in a former life he was a high school girl. This is why we can't be friends....but we can be BFF4Ever

This morning Andy was describing a cat he saw... He described it as so ugly "I probably wouldn't even try to pet it."

That was the entire measure of its ugliness, no other descriptions were given.

Then the conversation turned to an old grade school song he used to sing called "cluck old hen".

This is my life.

Sent from my iPhone

i go to college: what's that smell?

Today's I go to college feature is brought to you by our friend Nellie.

As she was walking across campus this morning she walked by a two people -- a girl in the some frosty grass that said something to the extent of a "winter wonderland" and a guy, who replied to her with:

"Let's describe the day in bath and body works scents."

yes. let's.

and also, let's use them to describe you...

as perhaps getting "Carried Away" with the "Dancing Waters" of your "Enchanted" mind, that I can only assume is a "Coco Cabana" "Forever Sunshine" "Happy Gum Drop" of a place fueled by "Island Margarita", "Pink Sangria" and "Hot Buttered Rum".

who knew B&BW had so many scents? I think I will start describing not just every day, but everyTHING in this way.

I might need to make some scent flashcards.

this is why we can't be friends: PICKLES THE DAMN CAT

IT'S LIKE THE BLOG POST THAT WOULDN'T DIE.

this is so stupid.

Okay friends, so if you have been reading our blog for a while you may remember the "pickles the cat" conversation of August 2010.

Need a refresher? read here. I'll wait.

So then, as you may also recall...my wonderful uncle brought THIS to Andy's attention.

Then a few months later I fessed up about THIS.

and then today, OVER A YEAR, since the original "incident", Andy forwards me not one BUT TWO emails he received from my Uncle Kelly (who, by the way, I hope gets attacked by a pack of cats all named pickles on his way home from work today)

1st email:

Meet Pickles!

Pickles is our beloved cat adopted into our lives at the tender age of 4 weeks. We also adopted Pumpkin (3 weeks of age) at the same time, but unfortunately he passed away 2.5 years later to a neurological disease.
During the first 4 years Pickles (and Pumpkin) had many companions who were fostered until permanent homes were found for them

2nd email:

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU ALL SAY -- PICKLES IS NOT A COMMON CAT NAME. NEED PROOF? HERE IS THE LINK TO WIKIPEDIA'S LIST OF POPULAR CAT NAMES:

(thanks Alyson for the idea to look it up...um, yes, I was ranting about this at work. yes, I do need to get a life.)

let me save you the trouble of going to that site....they have several lists of popular cat names...broken down by different countries and different years (yea, wow, who knew?) and guess what....

NONE OF THEM HAVE PICKLES ON THE LIST.
I win. I am right. the end.

Today's lesson on campus:

Not enough people wear ponchos anymore.

Sent from my iPhone

This is why we can't be friends: if Uncle Andrew did the Christmas shopping...

This is what all our our nephews...and our niece... would be getting.

And he'd probably throw one in for himself as well....although I have a hunch that "craftsman" would be painted over with "Stihl".

i go to college: halloween

Halloween on campus rules. There has yet to be a costume as great as the indiana jones guy last year who carried his own theme music....but here are a few others seen today...

Winnie the Pooh (because why wouldn't a 20-something guy want to dress as winnie the pooh?)

I can only assume this person is dressed as someone who doesn't own actual shoes...or pants (yes, I took this while walking by them..hence the great shot)

Teenage mutant ninja turtle.

man as a nun (thanks Morgan for the photo)

hard to see guy dressed as an inflatable duck (courtesy of alyson)

hopefully more to come....

Wordizzle from Baby J: Yoda

"Much to learn you still have...my old padawan." ... "This is just the beginning!"

Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?

Oh wait..

no, really...

this thing just broke...hey...can I get a little help over here?

Anyone???

Damn light saber...

Always two there are, no more, no less: a master and an apprentice.


Okay guys, this really isn't working for me...what if I kept the light saber...but was...

BATMAN!!!!


these are just pajamas?

lame.

something unexpected...

So, what was the most unexpected thing to happen to me today?

Ah, yes, getting flowers from my husband for no reason would be a good guess....

(seriously, they are really pretty) and probably would have taken the title for the most unexpected...but alas, no. Other guesses??

If you guessed that I would have a box of live crickets sitting on my table for most of the day...

You'd be right. I agreed to accept packages for the entomology department for two days while their office windows were being replaced. yea. Do you know what you get for trying to be nice?

A BOX OF LIVE CRICKETS SITTING NEXT TO YOU FOR 6 HOURS.

if you think you can imagine how annoying and distracting chirping crickets all day might be.

multiply it by 12,000 and you'd be getting close.

I can hear them moving.

can I just say I love my friends?

This is for Justine, who is in desperate need of some entertainment at work:

So we are planning a trip to a local pumpkin patch to get pumpkins, then carve them then have dinner...what better way to plan such an event than a mass group email. Keep in mind that each time it is a separate email to the group.

It is just too funny not to share. (proceed with caution....it is possible that it is only hilarious to me)

Dalton: I found three different pumpkin patches... The lazy T looks like their hours may work the best.
(proceeds to list descriptions of pumpkin patches)

Sandy: Any are fine with me...I think Andy had seen one up north as well...SO EXCITED.

Megan: Do llamas spit? We can pet them at the Lazy T Ranch...

Megan: I vote Lazy T. There is a Cowboy Cafe where we can have tasty concessons.

Sandy: will it be awkward if i go dressed as a giant pumpkin?

Megan: Someone might try to buy you.

David: Andy will have to call you all those pumpkin pet names: "Pumpkin" "Sweety" "Pumpkin Pie", ect

and then you two could have an argument, in public at Lazy T, where Andy yells "I've told you a hundred times, that shirt DOES NOT MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE AN EFFING PUMPKIN!"

Then, you'll need so greenery dragging behind you. A couple feet of vineage.

Ask if any of the products at the Cafe contains pumpkin...and then act concerned about pumpkin seeds because "the problem isn't isolated to watermelons"

You should also have a bag of candy corn and offer it to kids. you can also spill them leaving a trail of candy corns.

And then, you have to make comments like "well, we better get home before i turn into a pumpkin"

Sandy: don't be ridiculous....a shirt? uh, no....i was thinking more like: http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=pumpkin+costumes&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=3693024479835103033&sa=X&ei=aTegTqGlBqyqsAKXhZmmBQ&ved=0CKgBEPMCMAQ

David: I THINK YOU ALL SHOULD WEAR ONE! Get 4 of them!

Megan: It has a battery operated fan. I'm speechless.

Andy: Umm… make that three. I may or may not have been a giant pumpkin for Halloween, multiple times.

Sandy: ahhhhhh ha ha ha ha haha. that is hilarious.

but seriously, can I borrow your old costume.

And can I just point out that Dalton has yet to rejoin the conversation....it's almost like it went off track somewhere and he is choosing to ignore it all. oh wait! he just responded:

Dalton: This is what I miss when I don't stay close to gmail.

I don't have a pumpkin costume anywhere...but I was a rock for halloween once. I'm thinking we could just spray paint it orange.


Okay, I will stop wasting your time. It just keeps getting funnier..but I'll spare you the details.

Wordizzle from Baby J: stickshifts and safetybelts

Check me out in my fly ride...

the best part of chillin' in uncle andizzle's truck...

THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY I COULD DO ANYTHING TO MAKE IT WORSE THAT IT ALREADY IS.

although, it is hard to reach the clutch..

two questions...

1. Who put this in our yard?

2. What is it?

i go to college: rent

Yes, a hammock, randomly placed on campus.

I'm guessing they spent their rent money on beer.

This was as close as I could get without the person in it seeing me...

Wordizzle from baby J: work it.

Waazzzuuppp Wildcat fans.....

How bout them cats, yo. I didn't go to the K-State game this weekend...Aunt Sandy kindly offered to hang out with me while my mom and dad were at the game (go cats!)

Although, secretly I think she just wanted me to do chores for her...

First she had me get all the rocks from under the car...

Then she sent me to do the laundry, yea I know, Uncle Andrew wanted to help carry the basket...

Then they made me rake the yard...

FINALLY they fed me.

and let me rest..