i go to college: I wouldn't normally do this...

This just in...the adventures of random people that stop by my office continues:

me: [sitting at my desk working]

random student: [popping his whole self in my door] "Um, hi, I wouldn't normally do this but I'm in a hurry, so...

<< insert thoughts -- eek --- what is this going to be about? weird. oh maybe he just needs something... staples? tape? I lost my tape dispenser...I think I left it in my car after the ag alumni tailgate...hopefully it's just staples. >>

random student cont.: "can you tell me where the stairs are?"

<< insert thoughts -- really? the thing you "wouldn't normally do" is ask where the stairs are? hello lamest student ever.>>

me: "oh sure, they are right around the corner"

Thanks-winning

The Friday after Thanksgiving some of the boys were outside shooting guns...well pellet guns actually.

Then one of them [I'll let you guess which one] said,

"hey, we should have a biathlon"

and the other two said,

"ok"

[to be fair I wasn't actually there for that part, they were already in the "rules developement stage" when I arrived, but I'm guessing that is how it went.]

The rules were decided to be:

1. You have to run down the hill around the telephone pole and back twice.

2. Then you will shoot the pellet gun pistol 4 times at 4 targets. For each target you hit 20 seconds will be deducted off your time. You can shoot from any position, but must be at the designated spot.

3. After your 4 shots you run down around the telephone pole again.

4. I would choose a number between 1 and 20, the person who guessed the closest number got to choose their spot in the order.

5. I would keep the official time.

6. Ashleigh would encourage them to go faster.


Jake won the number. He chose to go last. Andy was next, he chose to go first, which left Steve to go 2nd.

It was quickly agreed upon that

"that telephone pole is a lot farther than it looks"

and

"maybe we should have only done 1 lap"

and

"you have to watch out for holes on the way down"

and

"that hill is way steeper than I thought"

The shooting also did not go so well -- they only hit 4 targets total.

finishing times:

1st place: Andy - time 2:48 -- hit 2 targets for a final time of 2:08

2nd place: Steve - time 2: 52 -- hit 1 target for a final time of 2:32

3rd place: Jake - time 2:53 -- hit 1 target for a final time of 2:33


Ashleigh kindly improvised a, what I can only assume was a previously unheard version of the state song of Minnesota for Andy as he topped the podium.

I'd like to wrap up this article with a quote from an eye witness, my dad, who happened to glance out of his shop window mid competition.

"I looked out the window and there was Andy with his shirt off and Jake was taking off barreling down the hill."

I think it really paints the picture for those who weren't able to witness it first hand:

keepin' it real...

My office has a "humility valve"....

What is that?

Well in case you are getting to full of yourself...to high and mighty...to power hungry....

it brings you right back down to earth when you have to climb up on a counter and turn this knob in order to turn on and/or adjust the heat...

pickles the cat update....

since my post a few days ago there have been 3 more emails regarding pickles:

1. from my least favorite friend, David, with a link to Pickles the Cat's facebook page

2. two from my least favorite uncle, Uncle Kelly

Here's 1:

Right to left: Fidel, Mr. Pickles, Raúl

Mr. Pickles is an evil communist cat, born Hubert Mex Pickles in 1954. He is owned by Fidel Castro, the second most evil person in the world, and is third in succession to become el Presidente of Cuba.

There is some controversy over the nature of Mr. Pickles. Some say he is not a cat, but rather a dog in a cat suit. Some say he is a bear in a cat suit, while others protest he is Condoleeza Rice in a bear suit in a dog suit in a cat suit.

here's 2:

Oh you guys, his Pickles the Fire Cat costume, in action, was even better than I imagined

This last one shouldn't count, in my opinion, because it is just a halloween costume of the pickles the cat story posted in the last post.


I posted this for those of you who find this amusing.

I do not.

this is why we can't be friends: BFF4EVER

Today I opened my wallet to find this:

A school picture of Andy -- cut out from, I assume, when he was teaching...

he had even written on the back:

So apparently in a former life he was a high school girl. This is why we can't be friends....but we can be BFF4Ever

This morning Andy was describing a cat he saw... He described it as so ugly "I probably wouldn't even try to pet it."

That was the entire measure of its ugliness, no other descriptions were given.

Then the conversation turned to an old grade school song he used to sing called "cluck old hen".

This is my life.

Sent from my iPhone

i go to college: what's that smell?

Today's I go to college feature is brought to you by our friend Nellie.

As she was walking across campus this morning she walked by a two people -- a girl in the some frosty grass that said something to the extent of a "winter wonderland" and a guy, who replied to her with:

"Let's describe the day in bath and body works scents."

yes. let's.

and also, let's use them to describe you...

as perhaps getting "Carried Away" with the "Dancing Waters" of your "Enchanted" mind, that I can only assume is a "Coco Cabana" "Forever Sunshine" "Happy Gum Drop" of a place fueled by "Island Margarita", "Pink Sangria" and "Hot Buttered Rum".

who knew B&BW had so many scents? I think I will start describing not just every day, but everyTHING in this way.

I might need to make some scent flashcards.

this is why we can't be friends: PICKLES THE DAMN CAT

IT'S LIKE THE BLOG POST THAT WOULDN'T DIE.

this is so stupid.

Okay friends, so if you have been reading our blog for a while you may remember the "pickles the cat" conversation of August 2010.

Need a refresher? read here. I'll wait.

So then, as you may also recall...my wonderful uncle brought THIS to Andy's attention.

Then a few months later I fessed up about THIS.

and then today, OVER A YEAR, since the original "incident", Andy forwards me not one BUT TWO emails he received from my Uncle Kelly (who, by the way, I hope gets attacked by a pack of cats all named pickles on his way home from work today)

1st email:

Meet Pickles!

Pickles is our beloved cat adopted into our lives at the tender age of 4 weeks. We also adopted Pumpkin (3 weeks of age) at the same time, but unfortunately he passed away 2.5 years later to a neurological disease.
During the first 4 years Pickles (and Pumpkin) had many companions who were fostered until permanent homes were found for them

2nd email:

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU ALL SAY -- PICKLES IS NOT A COMMON CAT NAME. NEED PROOF? HERE IS THE LINK TO WIKIPEDIA'S LIST OF POPULAR CAT NAMES:

(thanks Alyson for the idea to look it up...um, yes, I was ranting about this at work. yes, I do need to get a life.)

let me save you the trouble of going to that site....they have several lists of popular cat names...broken down by different countries and different years (yea, wow, who knew?) and guess what....

NONE OF THEM HAVE PICKLES ON THE LIST.
I win. I am right. the end.

Today's lesson on campus:

Not enough people wear ponchos anymore.

Sent from my iPhone

This is why we can't be friends: if Uncle Andrew did the Christmas shopping...

This is what all our our nephews...and our niece... would be getting.

And he'd probably throw one in for himself as well....although I have a hunch that "craftsman" would be painted over with "Stihl".