Can't believe it has been 10 years since I trapped my dear roommate, Andi, in my car for 4.5 hours as we drove home for Thanksgiving and forced holiday spirit upon her in the form of adapting "Twas the Night Before Christmas"for a roommate Christmas letter...miss those good ole days...enjoy:
Twas the night before finals, when all through the place…
I looked up at Andi, her sad, sleepy face,
Book bags were flung all over the chairs,
Dress pants and slippers the only clean things to wear.
Their minds were filled with information read,
The kitchen table had become their new bed.
Sandy in Soils and Andi in Stats,
Had mistakenly fell into a mid-studies nap.
When out on the lot there arose such a clatter
We sprang to the porch to see what was the matter
Away to the porch we flew like a flash
The door was still locked and caused a big crash.
The fright of the crash, the harsh sudden blow,
They vowed to each other…no one must know!!
When what to their wondering eyes should appear,
A big garbage truck tearing off Sandy’s mirror.
With a little old driver, so lethargic and fat,
Sandy rolled her eyes saying, “I didn’t need that!”
More rapid than eagles, out of the house Andi came,
She whistled, and shouted, and called him bad names.
“Call Leah, Call Allen, Call Nathan, Call Andy!”
“Wait, no not Leah!, she isn’t handy!”
We dialed their numbers we gave it our all
But no one would answer our poor, pitiful calls.
Tears of sadness filled Sandy’s eyes,
Which demanded a trip to Sonic, for fries!
Their study break over, they knew what to do,
For finals would be over much more than they knew!
Who cares about z-scores and the value of P,
In 24 hours how happy they’d be!
This new sense of hope they had just found,
Caused them to sing and frolic around.
Layers of sweats, still getting the chills,
“We can’t afford the heating bill!!!”
These books! These studies! They drive us insane!
Only a few more hours of this madness remain!
Their eyes so droopy, their dimples so sad,
Nervous about grades…they know they’ll be bad.
Studying is over, prep time is gone,
I wonder how many tests we will bomb.
“Oh Goodness!” “Oh Golly!” “Oh Heavens!” “Oh Gee!”
How did I end up in the room for Calc III?????
My teacher’s broad face and little round belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of Jelly. (Moore, Clement C. Twas the Night Before Christmas.)
He was chubby and plump and handed out the tests
And he laughed out loud out our faces of detest.
The answers to the questions, I KNEW I had read….
Too bad all that garbage hadn’t stuck in my head!
He spoke not a word as he watched us all work,
Walking out of the room I thought, “Man, what a jerk!”
Our hacking and coughing and runny nose
Still, thinking of Christmas our spirits rose.
Merry Christmas to you, from Andi and Sandy,
We hope your holiday break is really quite dandy!
Our brains are fried, our minds are toasted,
….until grades are posted
But we’ll be in good spirits…
….until grades are posted
